neko_kirin3104 | [Arashi] Secret Talk 2013

Title: [Fictional] Secret Talk 2013

Group/pairing: Arashi/Ohno-centric & Sho-centric

Prompt: 003 Confess

Word Count: 1098 + 2 omakes

Rating: PG-13 [Pure Crack]

Summary: Aiba sees something interesting online and shares it during a secret talk session...

Disclaimer: I own nobody. Purely fictional, of course. :3

Notes: Inspired by a prompt from je_prompts, and an overdose of ask-improper-ohno. I seriously love that blog! <3

During a frustratingly long break in a VS Arashi recording, following some technical glitch that all of them—even fussy J—are just too tired to even meddle with, the members of popular idol group Arashi decide to record a Secret Talk for their next single release.

Somebody suggests that this is a much better alternative to kill time instead of just lounging in varied poses of boneless exhaustion all over the greenroom. The others just sigh and roll their eyes but eventually resign themselves to the inevitable. They always did have fun in secret talks, after all.

So, it is under these circumstances—and with only a few hours of sleep in days—that they soon find themselves gathered around Aiba’s brand new iPhone, all set and ready to record the session.

Sho opens up the secret talk with the usual greetings and what-nots, with the others backing him up with a resounding, “Yay!” Ninomiya doesn’t waste a breath and immediately launches a, “What’s up with Aiba’s phone?” assault. To which Aiba quips, “It’s cute, ne?” in defense of his new bright orange gadget before going off on a rather passionate crusade to buoy up his cutesy phones cutesy good points.

Jun, feeling too tired for tact, quickly shoots this topic down before it grows legs and tramps all over his thinning patience. He starts talking about the new single and for a good five minutes, the secret talk progresses on a rather sensible route—traversing from the double A-side release to Aiba’s drama and Ninomiya’s movie—sprinkled here and there with the occasional laughing and teasing so common in their cross-talks.

When the sensible topics are all but exhausted, they then spend the next five minutes without really aiming too hard for some semblance of sense or cohesiveness. They try to play a game that ends up getting drowned out in laughter. They bully their Leader for not speaking more than ten words in the last ten minutes. They joke and fool around and are thus feeling a bit livelier than their sleep-deprived states would’ve normally allowed.

Then Aiba just have to mention his phone again. And feeling a little more generous this time, the members actually let him take the reins. He talks about how he’s been spending much of his very little free time browsing the internet, checking out some very interesting stuffs that their fans have been posting about them online.

And the talk just went out of hand from there.

Here is a section of the recording that never did, and probably never would, make it to the CD. Ever.

++++++++++

Aiba: Seriously. They’re pretty imaginative. I mean, where do they come up with these ideas? Did you know about this?

[Somebody makes a strange noise that's either a “yes” or a snore. About half a minute later...]

Nino: I’ve read some. Seen drawings, too.

Jun: They even have doujinshi conventions, you know.

Aiba: Really? You mean this has been going on for a while?

Nino: Moron. Stop saying things like that. People will think you just crawled out of a rock.

Sho: It’s been going on since we debuted, Aiba-chan.

Aiba: For real?? How come I didn’t know?

Jun: Did you really have to ask that?

Nino: [mumbles] Rock...

Aiba: Even Leader knows?

Ohno: Sho-chan showed me.

Aiba: Oh... So, you guys know about the names they use to refer to us as, you know, couples?

Nino, Jun and Ohno: Un~

Sho: Are we seriously talking about this?

Nino: I don’t like the ones with me in them, though.

Ohno: Eh? How come? Ohmiya came from you, after all.

Nino: Well, it sounded good at the time. But now that I think about it...

Aiba: Leader’s fully awake now...

Sho: Are we seriously, seriously talking about this?

Jun: Shut up, Sho-kun! I’d like to hear this.

Sho: Meanie...

Nino: I’m just saying... why do I always have to be at the tail end? I mean, why can’t it be Ninotoshi instead? Or Ninosho? Ninojun, maybe? And I’d even take Ninoai for all it’s worth.

Aiba: [protesting incoherently in the background]

Nino: I don’t remember asking you, idiot! It just makes it seem like you guys are topping me.

Jun: Well, you do give off that impression, you know.

Nino: What impression?

Jun: That you can be pretty submissive, and clingy. And you definitely don't have the stamina to top anyone.

Nino: Oh yeah? How would you know? I top Leader just fine. Ask him.

Sho: Eh? B-But, Satoshi-kun... you top me.

Aiba: I top Leader good, too.

Sho: Eh???

Nino: Leader, you naughty, little~ eh? J... too?

Jun: [mumbles almost inaudibly in the background] They don't call us Juntoshi for nothing, you know.

Aiba: Leader’s been pretty busy, huh?

Sho: [whiny voice] Satoshi...

Nino: What do you have to say for yourself, Oh-chan?

Ohno: Hn.

[silence]

Nino: You’re using your right to silence again, huh?

Jun: He’s totally using it.

Aiba: Leader’s a noisy bottom, though.

Nino and Jun: Yeah.

Sho: Can we please seriously stop talking about this?

Nino: So, this means Sho-chan’s the only one bottoming for Leader.

Jun: Seems like it.

Ohno: Sho-chan’s a noisy bottom, too.

Sho: Satoshi! Seriously!!

Aiba: I’d like to top Sho-chan, too.

Sho: Eh?

Nino: Now that you mention it...

Sho: Eh??

Jun: Hhhmmm...

Sho: Eh???

Ohno: Hey. I’ll bottom for all of you, but you leave Sho-chan’s ass to me, all right.

Sho: [sounds constipated] Satoshi...

Aiba: Wow, Leader, you look fierce.

Nino: [mumbles] It’s not even a great ass...

Sho: Hey!!

Jun: [mumbles] No, not even half as good as Leader’s...

Sho: Can we please stop talking about my ass?!

Aiba: I think that ass belongs to Leader now, Sho-chan. It’s not yours anymore.

Sho: Ugh! Aiba-chan, seriously!

Nino: Are we still recording this?

Jun: Aiba, turn your phone off. We can’t use this.

Aiba: Why not? This was fun! The fans will love this.

Nino: No.

Jun: Hell, no!

Ohno: Uun~

Aiba: Leader, are you sleeping again?

Sho: Masaki, please don’t forget to delete this from your phone.

Aiba: Oh, all right!

++++++++++

While Aiba fiddles with the controls of his new phone, a Staff-san knocks on the door of their greenroom and informs them that filming will resume in five minutes. They spend a couple of minutes straightening themselves up, throwing sideway glances at each other, staking silent claims on a particularly calm and spacey tanned old man, who unconsciously makes his own choice by grabbing one member’s hand and pulling him out of the greenroom and back to the set.

~1992*4##111~

OMAKE I

Sho whispers a shy request to his partner’s ear as they walk side by side down the hall.

“Can we switch places tonight?”

“No,” Ohno whispers back, a teasing smile dangling at the corner of his lips as he watches his partner’s face form into a disappointed pout.

“Why not?” Sho demands.

“We wouldn’t have to,” Ohno says, “I’ll teach you some new tricks.”

“Oh no you won’t Leader!” Jun, having caught up with them, hisses. “You’re coming home with me tonight.”

“Then Sho-chan will be coming home with me!” Aiba chirps enthusiastically.

“No, I won’t~!” Sho quips, scandalized.

“Hey,” Ninomiya squeezes himself between Sho and Ohno, slinging an arm on each of the older men’s shoulders. “No rash decisions without janken, all right?”

OMAKE II

Aibaka mistakenly sends the recorded clip to everyone on his phonebook instead of deleting it. The recording gets re-sent around a lot that not a couple of hours pass until the reactions begin pouring in.

++++++++++

Toma: [text message to Sho] I bottom for Oh-chan, too. There’s no shame in it. =)

Ohkura: [text message to Sho] What do you have that I don’t? =(

Maruyama: [text message to Sho] What does Oh-chan have that I don’t? =(

++++++++++

Shun: [text message to Jun] Ohno-san, huh? xp

Mao: [text message to Jun] Leader, huh...? :-b

Toma: [text message to Jun] Oh-chan, huh...? 8-D

++++++++++

Becky: [text message to Aiba] Aiba-chan! >8-O

Yokoyama: [text message to Aiba] 8-D

++++++++++