[Arashi] 525,600 Minutes
Oct. 12th, 2013 09:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
neko_kirin3104Title: 525,600 Minutes
Group/Pairing: Arashi/Yama Pair (Ohno/Sho)
Prompt: 29 Season
Word Count: 740
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Summary: There are five stages of grief. Sho Sakurai’s stuck at denial.
Disclaimer: I own nobody. Purely fictional, of course. :3
Notes: Inspired by a prompt from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
je_prompts, and the emotional hangover from watching Glee s05e03. Title taken from the song Seasons of Love. -.-
Warning: character death
There are 1440 minutes in a day.
1440 ways I never saw your heart break.
Not once. Not even a little...
“Satoshi-kun, ohayou...”
24 hours complete a day. 7 days make a week.
Each minute feels like a lifetime with every second stretching out beyond eternity.
And an eternity is too long, much too long, to still be holding yourself in...
“Satoshi-kun, I’m home...”
Four weeks in a month, three months in a season, and I have yet to see you live for just yourself...
“Satoshi-kun, did you see what Aiba-chan did today? That was seriously hilarious! I do worry about his pollen allergy, though. And Nino’s being difficult again and refuses to take my advice about sleeping properly. And have you seen Jun-kun lately? I should really take that guy out for a proper meal soon, and maybe talk some sense into him while I’m at it. I doubt he’ll listen, though. They don’t listen to me anymore, Satoshi-kun...”
No, Sho-chan. You’re wrong.
I see them, and I see you.
And you’re the one who’s not listening.
You’re the only one who hasn’t yet looked the truth in the eye, let it sink in and just grip at your heart until you understand that things will never be the same again.
No matter how hard you try to run, or hide, or pretend otherwise...
“This is Satoshi-kun’s kind of music, you know...”
“Sho-kun...”
“He really likes this type of food, too...”
“Sho...”
“I’m sure he’ll love this place, Jun-kun. You should take him here some time—”
“Dammit, Sho-kun! Can you please just stop doing this?!”
“Doing what?”
“Acting like Leader’s still here!”
“He is still here!”
“Sho-ku—”
“I don’t wanna hear about it. Just. Shut. Up.”
Two months into the new season, almost a hundred thousand new minutes spent thinking you can keep it all in for as long as you need to until everything falls back into place.
But, Sho-chan... You don’t always have to try so hard...
“Hello?”
“Jun-kun, can you come over?”
“Sho-kun, sure. What’s going on?”
“I—I—There’s—He’s—”
“Sho-kun...”
“I was... I was looking through our drawers for something, you see... and I... I saw... He left me something... And I... I can’t—”
“I’m on my way.”
Let go...
Let go...
Sho-chan, just let go...
“Sho... What’s this?”
“His last art piece. It was at the bottom of our drawer.”
“When did he—”
“The day before it happened. It’s like, he knew, Jun! Somehow he knew! That’s why he did that! That’s why he drew me like that! I wasn’t even crying on that day!”
“Sho-kun, calm down—”
“It’s today, right? I do remember. I have never stopped remembering.”
“I know.”
“When I got the call, and I went to see him, and he held my hand and tried to open his eyes to look at me... I can still remember it. All of it.”
“I know.”
“I begged him not to go. That the doctors will fix him up, if he can just hold on for a little while longer. But he didn’t listen to me! He let go, and he didn’t listen to me! Nobody ever listens to me anymore!”
“Sho-kun...”
“And you know what the worst part of it was?! What that heartless man said to me?! He said, ‘It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to cry, Sho-chan.’ He fucking said it over and over like he thought I was dumb! Like he’s not written it enough on that paper!”
“Sho...”
“But you know what the funny thing is? Those aren’t the words that are making me cry now...”
There are 1440 minutes in a day, each second stretching into a lifetime...
525,600 minutes in a year may well go beyond eternity...
And an eternity is much too long to still be running away from the truth.
I’m gone, Sho-chan, though I’ve never really left your side.
But things can never be the same again, and you need to accept that.
Give yourself pause to grieve and fall apart.
And then let the promise I left on that paper help you pull through—
It’s okay to cry today, Sho-chan...
Tomorrow, you can pick yourself up and allow your heart to remember and smile and laugh over all the good memories that we shared, because this is the only way I want you to think of me.
I love you, Sho-chan. Don’t you ever forget...
***This is what I get for not listening to myself. Did I think I was ready for that tribute episode? No. Did I stay away from it? No. //stabs self//
Group/Pairing: Arashi/Yama Pair (Ohno/Sho)
Prompt: 29 Season
Word Count: 740
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Summary: There are five stages of grief. Sho Sakurai’s stuck at denial.
Disclaimer: I own nobody. Purely fictional, of course. :3
Notes: Inspired by a prompt from
je_prompts, and the emotional hangover from watching Glee s05e03. Title taken from the song Seasons of Love. -.-Warning: character death
There are 1440 minutes in a day.
1440 ways I never saw your heart break.
Not once. Not even a little...
“Satoshi-kun, ohayou...”
24 hours complete a day. 7 days make a week.
Each minute feels like a lifetime with every second stretching out beyond eternity.
And an eternity is too long, much too long, to still be holding yourself in...
“Satoshi-kun, I’m home...”
Four weeks in a month, three months in a season, and I have yet to see you live for just yourself...
“Satoshi-kun, did you see what Aiba-chan did today? That was seriously hilarious! I do worry about his pollen allergy, though. And Nino’s being difficult again and refuses to take my advice about sleeping properly. And have you seen Jun-kun lately? I should really take that guy out for a proper meal soon, and maybe talk some sense into him while I’m at it. I doubt he’ll listen, though. They don’t listen to me anymore, Satoshi-kun...”
No, Sho-chan. You’re wrong.
I see them, and I see you.
And you’re the one who’s not listening.
You’re the only one who hasn’t yet looked the truth in the eye, let it sink in and just grip at your heart until you understand that things will never be the same again.
No matter how hard you try to run, or hide, or pretend otherwise...
“This is Satoshi-kun’s kind of music, you know...”
“Sho-kun...”
“He really likes this type of food, too...”
“Sho...”
“I’m sure he’ll love this place, Jun-kun. You should take him here some time—”
“Dammit, Sho-kun! Can you please just stop doing this?!”
“Doing what?”
“Acting like Leader’s still here!”
“He is still here!”
“Sho-ku—”
“I don’t wanna hear about it. Just. Shut. Up.”
Two months into the new season, almost a hundred thousand new minutes spent thinking you can keep it all in for as long as you need to until everything falls back into place.
But, Sho-chan... You don’t always have to try so hard...
“Hello?”
“Jun-kun, can you come over?”
“Sho-kun, sure. What’s going on?”
“I—I—There’s—He’s—”
“Sho-kun...”
“I was... I was looking through our drawers for something, you see... and I... I saw... He left me something... And I... I can’t—”
“I’m on my way.”
Let go...
Let go...
Sho-chan, just let go...
“Sho... What’s this?”
“His last art piece. It was at the bottom of our drawer.”
“When did he—”
“The day before it happened. It’s like, he knew, Jun! Somehow he knew! That’s why he did that! That’s why he drew me like that! I wasn’t even crying on that day!”
“Sho-kun, calm down—”
“It’s today, right? I do remember. I have never stopped remembering.”
“I know.”
“When I got the call, and I went to see him, and he held my hand and tried to open his eyes to look at me... I can still remember it. All of it.”
“I know.”
“I begged him not to go. That the doctors will fix him up, if he can just hold on for a little while longer. But he didn’t listen to me! He let go, and he didn’t listen to me! Nobody ever listens to me anymore!”
“Sho-kun...”
“And you know what the worst part of it was?! What that heartless man said to me?! He said, ‘It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to cry, Sho-chan.’ He fucking said it over and over like he thought I was dumb! Like he’s not written it enough on that paper!”
“Sho...”
“But you know what the funny thing is? Those aren’t the words that are making me cry now...”
There are 1440 minutes in a day, each second stretching into a lifetime...
525,600 minutes in a year may well go beyond eternity...
And an eternity is much too long to still be running away from the truth.
I’m gone, Sho-chan, though I’ve never really left your side.
But things can never be the same again, and you need to accept that.
Give yourself pause to grieve and fall apart.
And then let the promise I left on that paper help you pull through—
It’s okay to cry today, Sho-chan...
Tomorrow, you can pick yourself up and allow your heart to remember and smile and laugh over all the good memories that we shared, because this is the only way I want you to think of me.
I love you, Sho-chan. Don’t you ever forget...
#####
***This is what I get for not listening to myself. Did I think I was ready for that tribute episode? No. Did I stay away from it? No. //stabs self//
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2013-10-12 01:44 am (UTC)*wipes eyes* huh?? why are there tears??
no subject
Date: 2013-10-13 08:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-12 02:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-13 08:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-13 08:55 pm (UTC)//hugs Ayumi-chan <333
no subject
Date: 2013-10-12 11:58 am (UTC)<3 Touched by your work my dear~ <3
The raw emotions~ awww sho-chan.
the lyrics to seasons of love is beautiful though~ really makes one think :) ~ like~ "how do you measure a life of a man or a woman?" ~ <3<3
no subject
Date: 2013-10-13 09:04 pm (UTC)Thank you very much for reading, Rachie! //hugs <333
Hai. Those lyrics are really thought provoking. Makes one appreciate life more, as well as the life of the people around us and the time we get to spend with them sharing love and happy memories together. <3
no subject
Date: 2013-10-13 03:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-13 09:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-13 04:45 am (UTC)You can't do this to me!
Watching s05e03 was hard enough, and now this....
But I still read it T_T and I'm glad it's just a fic!
Not on my beloved YAMA, ever!
OK, I need to calm down XD
no subject
Date: 2013-10-13 09:13 pm (UTC)It's just fiction, ne. I kind of wrote this to sort myself out, too.That episode was just devastating. T^T
no subject
Date: 2013-10-13 04:49 pm (UTC)I STARTED SINGING THE SONG AS I STARTED READING THIS AND BY THE MIDDLE I WAS LIKE
/SOBS
ok i loev u
i needed to cry after those stressful days at work OTL OTL OTL
why pls
no subject
Date: 2013-10-13 09:16 pm (UTC)If it makes any difference, I was crying while I wrote this, too. Glee broke my heart. T^T
I'll write something fun next time, ne. //sobs <333
no subject
Date: 2013-10-20 02:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-13 12:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-07-15 05:36 pm (UTC)TT___TT
no subject
Date: 2015-09-03 03:54 am (UTC)Nonetheless, thanks for reading, Laora-chan~!